As part of the Litfuse Blog Tour for Secrets, I am pleased to welcome Jonathan Daugherty to the blog today!
Jonathan Daugherty is the founder of Be Broken Ministries, and founder of Gateway to Freedom workshop for men. He also hosts the weekly radio broadcast, Pure Sex Radio, and is in demand nationally as a speaker on sexual purity and men s issues. He has appeared on multiple radio and television media, both local and national. He has authored “Grace-Based Recovery,” “The 4 Pillars of Purity,” and other works. Jonathan lives with his wife and three children in San Antonio, Texas.
A true story of restoration and recovery, Secrets is the account of Jonathan Daugherty’s struggle with sex addiction and how, with God’s help, he overcame it.
Everyone has a secret or two, a part of their life they would rather not share with the rest of the world.
But for Jonathan Daugherty, his secret was so life-altering and relationship-ending that he fought to keep it hidden at all costs. And it did cost him. His secret kept him from contentment, peace, and the possibility of being known and loved for who he truly is. That’s what any secret addiction can do—but in particular a sex addiction.
After his wife finally discovered his secret, their marriage appeared to be over. In Secrets, Jonathan honestly and courageously shares his story of addiction to pornography and how he lost everything to it.
But that’s not how the story ends. While Jonathan struggled, someone else was at work—his heavenly Father. At the lowest possible moment of his life, God stepped in and brought him hope and healing. This is a story of both loss and redemption that gives hope to anyone who has ever experienced the power and struggle of addiction and its life-destroying effects.
Addiction doesn’t have the final say over Jonathan’s life or in his marriage. The God who finds the lost, heals the sick, and brings life from death has the last, victorious word.
—A courageous, honest and open account of life as a sex addict and how sex addiction destroys marriages.
—A life-affirming and personal story of recovery and redemption that will inspire readers.
—Offers hope to all who struggle with pornography and sex addiction.
—Each chapter includes a “Living in the Light” section designed to equip and help readers find freedom from addiction.
—Suitable as a study for support groups of addicts and those who care about them.
Hi Jonathan! Welcome to the blog! I start all of my guests out with a fast four:
Jonathan: Apples. I heard once that apples can provide a similar energy boost to caffeine, and whether this claim is true or not, I have preferred apples in the morning for this reason. Even if it’s only psychological, there’s no harm done in downing a few apples, right?
Carrie: They are certainly healthier than some other caffeine-boost options! Plus, they are delicious.
Jonathan: Winter. Living in south Texas for most of my life I much prefer winter to summer. I enjoy the crispness of wintertime and even with the sun setting much earlier I enjoy the quiet that seems to come with the longer evenings. Plus, Christmas is in the winter and I love Christmas!
Carrie: Yes! This is what I have been saying for years, but so far my ability to recruit more people to preferring winter has not been terribly successful 🙂
Jonathan: Dogs. I have never owned a dog that wasn’t always thrilled to see me. The cats I’ve known acted as if my presence was a horrible interruption to their nap time. Also, dogs seem to possess more of the qualities I would like in myself (joy, loyalty, love), so I guess I prefer having them around as a reminder of what I need to work on.
Carrie: Amen & amen.
Jonathan: Yes! I “prefer” them both. I like coffee in the morning as a boost to get my day going. There is nothing like the smell of fresh coffee in the morning. But I drink herbal tea in the afternoons and evenings. Makes for a nice, relaxing landing to each day.
Carrie: I will take your word for it. Not a fan of either 🙂
Around here I like to say that reading is my superpower. If YOU had a superpower, what would it be?
Jonathan: Empathy. I want the broken, hurting people I interact with day-by-day to sense my deep connection with their pain. I want them to know that I know. We like to say in our ministry that “we are all more alike than we are different.” I don’t want to live as one who points out differences, but rather to connect on our points of similarities. And one thing we all have in common as human beings is that we have ALL been broken in some way. And empathy goes a long way in bringing hope, comfort, and love into very painful circumstances. That’s the superpower I want more of!
Carrie: Yes!! Oh, wouldn’t the world be so much kinder if we all sought to be more empathetic?
Tell me some good books you’ve read recently.
Jonathan: The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor’s Journey into Christian Faith by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield. This has been a captivating book for me considering my field of ministry. Rosaria has an incredible story from sexual brokenness and atheism to Christianity. Her candor gripped me and this is a book that helped me understand the struggle of sexual identity in a whole new way.
I also recently read Why Revival Tarries by Leonard Ravenhill. This book really convicted the socks off me. It awakened me to the stark reality that my prayer life is anemic and in need of far greater attention. Ravenhill pulls no punches, and although this book was written many years ago it still contains so much relevance for our world today.
These kinds of books give me the jolt I periodically need to remain engaged with the world around me and fervent in my devotion to Christ.
Carrie: I love Rosaria’s book! Definitely checking out Why Revival Tarries now too!
Writing spaces are as diverse as authors and books. Where is your favorite space to write?
Jonathan: Dunkin Donuts. It’s not a joke. I have no idea why I can write so well in a DD, but I “get in the zone” when I’m there. Of course, I’m sure the coffee and donuts help in keeping me alert and energetic, but I also think the “white noise” of people in the background helps me just get tunnel vision into my writing. Also, periodically looking up to watch people has provided for some very fresh illustrations of human behavior!
Carrie: Hmmm… this makes your ‘apples as caffeine source’ answer from earlier seem a bit suspect haha!
Why did you choose to write Secrets?
Jonathan: We live in an ironic culture when it comes to the issue of sex and sexuality. One the one hand we flaunt flesh everywhere you turn. But on the other hand we hide our personal flaws and brokenness surrounding our own sexuality. Therefore, I felt this issue of secrecy and the damage it does to us personally and relationally needed to be addressed.
Secrecy is very personal to my own story and so writing about it came very naturally. I lived so long in my secret sins that I struggled to know where the “real me” existed. And that is the danger with secrets: you lose yourself in the shadows. The shadows are a scary place to live, and I think it is important for readers to know God didn’t design us to live in the dark. We were made for the Light! There are no shadows in the Light of grace and truth.
Carrie: “God didn’t design us to live in the dark.” That’s so powerful!
What do you most want readers to take away from Secrets?
Jonathan: I want the readers of Secrets to know that there is a way back into the Light; that no matter how many secrets one is hiding behind, there is always hope for freedom. God never shames anyone for coming out of the dark and confessing their secrets. Instead, He celebrates and throws a party and lets everyone know that He is for the lost and broken. Wouldn’t you want to be included in that party?
Carrie: Yes! Amen!
What about you? What comes to mind when Jonathan says “we are all more alike than we are different”?