Please join me today in welcoming author Nancy Anderson to the blog!
Nancy C. Anderson is an award-winning writer who has contributed to thirty books, including six Chicken Soup for the Soul titles. She is also the author of Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair-Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage.
Anderson has written many marriage articles for websites such as Crosswalk, CBN, FamilyLife, and GrowthTrac. She has been featured in national media such as The Huffington Post, The 700 Club, WORLD Magazine, Our Daily Bread and FamilyLife Today. Along with her husband, Ron, Anderson hosts the new TV program, Growing Healthy Marriages, on HSBN.tv.
The Andersons and their son, Nick, live in Orange County, California.
Her book, Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair-Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage, was printed in its 2nd edition on November 28, 2017 from Kregel.
Extramarital affairs are certainly not the social taboo that they once were, and may be more prevalent now than ever. Unfortunately, Christians are not exempt. With the anonymity of the Internet and the privacy of personal mobile phones, the temptation to cheat on one’s spouse has fertile ground to grow.
After straying to the other side of this marital fence–and returning to find forgiveness and restoration–Anderson brings this practical book about predicting and preventing an extramarital affair. Based on the principle that the grass is always greener when it’s watered, Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome focuses on how to grow a beautiful marriage by establishing six protective hedges around it.
This second edition includes a new chapter on repairing marriage following infidelity, as well as an appendix considering the Andersons’ own marriage before and after the affair from Ron’s point of view.
Hi Nancy! Welcome to the blog! I start all of my guests out with a fast four:
Nancy: Apples only! Oranges are too sour. Fuji apples are my new obsession because they are the crunchiest. I slice one each night and drizzle it with almond butter. It’s just the right blend of salty and sweet.
Carrie: Ooo that sounds like a yummy combination! (I’m an apples-only gal too!)
Nancy: Neither. Autumn is the only season that thrills me. I love sweaters and fuzzy slippers and my whole wardrobe is built around Fall colors of browns and pumpkin colors. It’s my happy zone.
Carrie: I do love Fall too! Apple cider donuts & bright orange trees – bliss!
Nancy: Cats are the only pet I’ve ever had or want. I identify with their independence and ability to solve problems.
Carrie: awww but you’re missing out on the unconditional love of a dog!
Nancy: Coffee is a balm to my soul. I wake up thinking about its mellow dark warmth and sometimes it calls to me in my sleep. I don’t put anything in it, I like it black and smooth.
Carrie: Authors and their coffee 😉
Q: Around here I like to say that reading is my superpower. If YOU had a superpower, what would it be?
Nancy: I’d be able to flip a switch that would turn me into a temporary extrovert. My natural bent is toward solitude and observing others, but I think being the center of attention-life of the party would be fun… At least for a little while.
Carrie: I am an extroverted-introvert so I do occasionally have that switch I can flip and be more outgoing and people-friendly. But then I crash and need days of solitude to recover lol.
Q: Who is your favorite book character from childhood?
Nancy: Trixie Belden, who was a girl detective who solved G-rated crimes. I wanted to be her and imagined a life of finding solutions to other people’s problems. She was smart and spunky and was always up for an adventure.
Carrie: Trixie Belden is just the best!
Q: Writing spaces are as diverse as authors and books. Where is your favorite space to write?
Nancy: I used to have to sequester myself in a quiet place, with no one around and no distractions, but lately I’ve had to be more flexible and portable. I’ve discovered that wearing headphones can overcome most noise and activity. I am typing this while sitting in a recliner in my den with my husband watching a documentary on the Hindenburg at ear-shattering decibels. He likes me to sit in the same room with him and even if I don’t watch the show, he’s happy. So, I keep my eyes on the computer and my ears focused on classical music and am quite productive. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.
Q: Why write about affair-proofing your marriage? Why is that important to you?
Nancy: Many marriage books are based upon theories, statistics, and clinical studies of infidelity. Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome is about real life in the real world. I’m an expert on infidelity because I lived it and survived.
Thirty-eight years after my affair and reconciliation, Ron and I are still helping couples prevent, predict, or pardon infidelity.
The book is based on the premise that the grass is greenest where it’s watered. So too, our marriages thrive only if they are watered with love, affection, respect, and honesty. The book is framed around the word hedges, which spells out the words Hearing (communication), Encouraging, Dating, Guarding, Educating, and Satisfying. These words, put into action will nurture and grow a healthy marriage.
Q: What new additions are in this second edition of Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome?
Nancy: There are updates and additions throughout the new 2017 edition, but there is a whole new chapter titled “Affair Repair,” written specifically for those who have committed adultery and want to repair the damage they’ve created. I received so many heart-wrenching emails asking for my advice on this topic that I was eager to add this new material. The other new feature is the question and answer appendix with Ron’s point of view on my affair, his healing, and our life now. He is the hero of this book, and I am glad readers have this opportunity to hear from him. His willingness to tell our story still amazes me, but he sees it as a valuable opportunity to offer hope and healing.
Carrie: Your story is so powerful – and so important. Thank you for sharing it!
Q: What is something that most surprised you while researching Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome?
Nancy: I always knew that second and third marriages were at higher risk for divorce, but the actual numbers were astonishing. Psychology Today posted this: “Statistics have shown that in the U.S. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.” This proves my theory that the grass is NOT greener on the other side of the marital fence. If changing partners lead to happiness and contentment, second marriages should have a lower divorce rate, not a higher one.
Carrie: Wow! That is certainly eye-opening!
Q: What do you most want readers to take away from Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome?
Nancy: Within the shelter of your hedges, you can have a beautiful, fragrant garden filled with love and laughter, and overflowing with living water. I know how impossible this may seem if you’ve been disconnected and conflicted about your marriage, but I’ve told you our story to encourage you with the possibility of hope and healing for your relationships. Just start with small steps. Each move you make toward each other will bring warmth and cooperation. Make the decision today to focus on the good things in your marriage. Build on the blessings you already have.
Carrie: Amen. ♥
Thank you so much for taking time to talk with me! 🙂 Before we say goodbye for today, tell us what‘s coming up next for you.
Nancy: Ron and I are the hosts of our own tv show! It’s titled Growing Healthy Marriage and it will air on www.HSBN.tv. The first few shows will be following the outline of our book, and we’ll also have interviews with other couples who’ve overcome obstacles and are willing to share their practical solutions. It will be fun and informative!
Thank you again, Nancy!
What about you? Are you an extrovert or an introvert?